The Impossible
by TheSiilverLining
Summary: Peace is beautiful, but can be painful too. A little story about how our favourite pairings are making it through, after the war. Mu/Murrue, Kira/Lacus, Athrun/Cagalli, Shin/Luna
1. If You'll Have Me

A.N. A little bit of Mu x Murrue fluff that was just begging to be written. Probably will stay a One-shot, but who knows :)

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><p>A full moon hung low above the water, casting its shimmering opalescence across the rippling waves. Far in the distance the calm night gave way to a rumbling sky, veined by faint streaks of lightning.<p>

Mu leaned over the railing of the veranda, lifting his head towards the starry skies and allowing the warm breeze to rifle through his hair. He could taste the approaching storm in the air and his bones and muscles ached with it. That was a lie, he admitted to himself; his body, battle weary and born again ached near constantly. It was not a happily acknowledged fact. Old, he mused. Old is what he felt.

"Can you expect anything different?" her sweet, teasing voice echoed in his head as he remembered admitting it to her one day. "Eh? I guess not." He had conceded somewhat grumpily.

Mu wished that he could shake off the troubling undercurrents that often pulled at his heart during the dead of the night. He would never be that young, carefree, flirtatious Hawk again. But did it really matter? There should be no treasure greater than to grow old and live out the rest of his days with Murrue at his side. But equally, no one should have so much history and pain behind them at their age. There were, however, weapons against this melancholy. Murrue, for one. His Murrue. She was like a ray of light in the pitch black of the night, like a beautiful but crushed flower that reached determinedly towards the sun. He would never let her go, would never lose her.

These night time wanderings had to end. He was wasting precious time, time that could be spent holding the warm and deliciously soft body of his woman in their bed. Sometimes though, there was no stopping this insomnia.

Their days were spent living mercifully normal lives. In the daylight, he could hold his melancholy at bay. He wanted nothing more than to keep her smiling, to make her laugh simply for the sheer joy of watching her eyes sparkle with happiness. He would hide bouquets roses in her office, or surprise her with coffee and breakfast in bed. She would never fail to be surprised at his antics, a fact that made his heart ache for her. Marrue had spent two years closing herself off to the possibility of joy, making peace with her loneliness and reconciling with her grief. And then he had showed up, utterly ignorant of her pain.

It was all he could do; make their days full of happiness. Those beautiful days gave way to sultry warm nights at their home on the beach. In their bed, sometimes they would lay for hours talking about the future. Sometimes there would be no talk at all, and Marrue would fall asleep holding his hand to her heart, her amber eyes locked with his sky blue. Sometimes, on nights like this, they would make love – slow and impossibly sweet. With her body wrapped around him, they would be perfectly in sync. Mu could not help but smile slyly as she would moan his name in his ear, her back arched and her nails digging into the muscles of his back. Together, their crescendo of seemingly insatiable desire would build to a climax.

Those moments after were the most precious. Legs and sheets tangled together, she was most vulnerable right then. Marrue Ramius - captain of the infamous Archangel, fearless and unyielding protector of peace - could let every shred of her guard down in those minutes. She could give herself over to Mu's strength and rest in his embrace. Mu would feel her quickened pulse wrack her slender body and would murmur the secrets of his heart into her ear. He would tell her that she was the most beautiful part of his life, that she was loved and that he would never again leave her. Sleep would come for Murrue, as she held onto this one beautiful promise of his.

If Mu was lucky, sleep would carry him away too, but more often than not that was not the case. On nights like this, he would gently disengage himself from Marrue's sleeping form and would find himself lurking on the veranda, searching the night sky as if for answers. Sometimes she would wander out in her thin shift, rubbing the sleep from her eyes. He would feel ashamed then, for leaving her. Tonight though, it was just him, the stars and the ghost of Neo Roanoke.

There was a flare of lightning, and an unexpected crack of thunder pierced through the gentle rush of waves like a gunshot.

Her scream divided the night in two, shrill, echoing and wrought with fear. It sent a bullet into his heart and ice through his veins. Mu tore into their bedroom, where Marrue was still screaming and thrashing. The surge of cold fury ebbed away as he scanned the room for intruders and found they were alone. She was still tossing in bed, her fists clutching at the bunched bed sheets that wrapped like vines around her long legs.

Mu gathered her in his arms and held her tightly.

" Murrue" he murmured, without letting her go. "Murrue… you're dreaming again, wake up?"

Her body stiffened as she gasped for a breath, finally awakening. There was silence for a few moments as she withdrew to lock eyes with his. She scanned his face, memorising ever y line and angle, taking in the pain and sadness in those blue eyes. She lifted one pale hand and laid it on his cheek before succumbing to the storm of tears that wracked her entire body. Mu wrapped both his arms around her again, and pulled her close. She wept into his bare chest, her narrow shoulders heaving.

"Don't go… please Mu, don't go" she whispered through her tears. A knife twisted in his heart, and he tightened his grip on her.

"I'm right here." He grabbed her slender hand in his and brought it close to his chest. "I'm right here, okay?"

Her sobs quieted but tears still fell from her eyes. Her body was hot and feverish, but a cold sweat caused her thin shirt to stick to her body. Mu gathered her in his arms, and stood up, walking out the door into the covered veranda. He laid her down on the hammock and lowered himself next to her. Wrapping bother his arms around her, he settled her against his body.

"I'm here Murrue. Sleep… I'll be right here"

Mu felt the tension drain out of her body, felt her heart rate slow and waited till her breaths came evenly before he too was granted sleep.

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><p>Murrue was awakened by the sounds of the earth starting its day. Birdsong mixed with the call of the gulls flying low above the ocean brought her out of a dreamless sleep. She opened her eyes to the half dawn and remembered the events from just a few hours ago. A sigh heaved her whole body. The pain she saw reflected in Mu's eyes was enough to make her feel guilty for permitting those nightmares into her sleeping conscious. Though she had not yet moved, and had her back towards Mu's chest, she could tell he was awake. She turned around in his arms, to face his open eyes.<p>

"Good morning" she murmured, smiling.

Mu only smiled in answer, though his eyes were troubled. She closed her eyes, eyelashes fanning her cheekbones and leaned in to kiss him.

"Alright commander, go on. Go run." She said, her eyes still closed, her face still smiling.

"Huh? Oh… no, that's okay. I don't feel like it. I'll stay with y—"

"No. I am fine, promise. Go, will you? You will be restless all day if you don't."

Mu threaded his hand in her beautiful thick hair and lowered his lips to hers. "Okay. See you in an hour."

Murrue, swaying slightly in the hammock from Mu's departure, pulled the sheets up closer to her chin.

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><p>Mu faced the sun, just rising above the horizon and stretched towards the sky. It was his custom to run the length of the beach in the mornings. It gave him a chance to clear his head and erase the last traces of any brooding that might have set in at night. It would take a lot to erase last night, though. Murrue had had nightmares before, but it never failed to leave him feeling empty and useless inside. Angry that she had suffered. Frustrated that he had not known himself. Weak, for not having been there to protect her.<p>

There was something about the motion of running that soothed him, something in the exertion and the evenness of his breaths. She was okay. Though Murrue had a side to her that was fragile and emotional, she was mostly cast-iron will and steely determination. If he let her see him troubled, she would only feel guilty. But he couldn't bear to see her distressed; her head knew he was here for good, but her heart still doubted. Perhaps it was time.

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><p>Murrue opened the oven door and let the heat out before she reached in. She set the dish on a coaster on their little kitchen table and stood back to admire her work. Just then, Mu appeared in the doorway, wiping the sweat from his brow. His jaw dropped slightly at the sight of the heavenly laden breakfast table and his woman in nothing but her panties, that ridiculously thin shirt and an apron.<p>

Heaven, this truly was his heaven.

"Are you hungry?" she asked as she crossed the room towards him.

Mu chuckled softly and scratched the back of his head, in an endearingly familiar pose. "Of course" he answered, as he slipped a hand beneath her shirt, to caress her. "Mainly, just for you though."

She laughed and batted away his hand, playfully. "Go wash up, it'll be done when you are."

Showered and dressed, Mu and Murrue surveyed each other over bites of Murrue's delicious breakfast.

"Do you want to talk about it?" Mu asked her, breaking the silence.

Marrue shifted her gaze towards the open window, where the sun now shone brightly over the shore.

"Mmm not especially. I am fine, Mu, I promise."

"You don't have to be fine, you know? … You don't have to promise that you're okay." He ventured.

She smiled. "I know. But you are here, we are safe. That makes me okay – nothing else matters from before."

"I'm staying." There was a hint of plea in his voice, asking her to believe in him. He brought out the little blue velvet box and dropped down to one knee.

"If you would have me, I would stay forever by your side, Murrue Ramius." He murmured as he opened the box.

Her brown eyes went wide, glistening with tears before the glittering silver ring. "Yes, please." She whispered, a beautiful rose blush spreading across her cheek bones. She slid from the kitchen chair onto her knees before Mu. He fitted the ring onto her slender finger and turning her hand in his, brought it to his lips.

A.N. **Review** if you enjoyed :) Or I guess if you didnt! xx


	2. The Forsaken Hearts

**A.N. Ok so... for a little while, the story is going to follow the events after the last battle up to the last chapter :) So here we go, back in time. Hope you enjoy!**

It was more beautiful than anything she could've fathomed. If an artist had intentioned to capture the meaning of the word "peace" he could not have chosen a better image to create. Though her voice had been strong and unwavering on the communication channel as she called for a ceasefire, Lacus's heart quivered at the sight before her now. Hundreds, it seemed like thousands, of flares signalled for the return of all mobile suits and other agents of war. The blackness of deep space was illuminated by the starbursts of flares and the tracings of all types of weaponry making their way back to their respective battleships. Lacus's sapphire eyes scanned the space before the Eternal desperately - searching , her heart clenched like an ice cold fist within her chest.

"Justice, Freedom, signals confirmed at Yellow 8, Delta."

It was as if the wind left her body. Lacus harboured very few selfish desires, but Oh this one; how could she have continued if he didn't return?

"Commander Waldfeldt. If there is no further threat here … please forgive me."

"Lacus- sama…"

But Lacus was already through the open doors of the bridge. She hated weightlessness right now with a hatred that she rarely knew. She wanted to run, and give her legs something to push from rather than just gliding along towards the hangar bay. She rounded a corner and pushed off but there he was, still in his flight suit, his helmet tucked beneath the crook of his arm. Smiling, he reached out his arms to steady her as they both came to a slow halt, facing each other. Kira's heart skipped a beat at her pale and fear stricken face. They both hovered, facing each other for an interval of a few heart beats before Lacus turned her face away and launched into him, her narrow shoulders shaking with sobs that wracked her slender body. Kira held her close to him, both arms wrapped around her shaking form.

"Shhh Lacus, It's okay." He murmured into her hair, his eyes closed as he breathed in her scent – he was home. Kira held onto his girl tightly, rubbing her back soothingly. The force of their collision had caused them to drift towards a wall and Kira planting his feet on the ground, pulled Lacus with him, allowing her stand level with him.

"Are you okay?" he asked her, removing the gloves of his flight suit and gently wiping the tears from her cheekbones.

Lacus's cheeks turned the softest shade of pink. "Kira… I should be the one to ask you that." She covered her face with her hands, hiding her eyes from him.

"I just… thought you were caught… that you weren't returning to me." She admitted.

"Not today." Kira replied, with a tired smile as he gently pried her hands away from her face. "Don't cry Lacus. I'm here now, I came back."

He held her small hands in his and leaned in closer, searching her beautiful eyes for permission.

"I came back and I'm here now… so don't be sad please."

"Kira…" was all she could murmur, before their lips met.

Softly, so softly. Kira put his arms around her again, cradling her slender body against his, gently deepening the kiss.

"Kira … I love you." Lacus murmured, her eyes still closed.

"I love you too." Kira placed one hand on her cheek. She leaned into his touch involuntarily. "And I promise you, I'm not going anywhere any time soon."

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><p>"Onee –chan." Meyrin whispered before a sob stole the breath from her body.<p>

Lunamaria and Shin had just stepped out of the palm of the Justice, lowered on one knee. Luna tore off her flight helmet before crossing the paces that separated her from her sister.

"Meyin!"

The two sisters embraced each other desperately, clinging to one another and sobbing with sheer gratitude at seeing the other alive.

Athrun was descending from the cockpit of the Justice, his helmet tucked beneath his arm.

"Shin." He turned to his once comrade, once enemy, once saviour. "Are you going to be alright?"

Shin was watching the two girls, a powerful mixture of emotions rising within him.

He swayed slightly, and Athrun put an arm around his shoulders in alarm.

"Yes… Yes I am going to be alright."

The two sisters, their arms around each other's waist lead the way out of the hangar bay, Luna's head resting on Meyrin's shoulder. Shin and Athrun followed them out, a respectable distance behind.

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><p>Captain Murrue Ramius had abandoned her post and fled the bridge as fast as she could towards the Archangel's return bay. She had to squint as the doors opened and she found herself facing dead on the shimmering Akatsuki. Shielding her eyes, she made out the form of a very familiar figure descending from the cockpit. Murrue could feel her pulse beating in her ears, like the sound of bronzed wings beating in time with her heart. She did not know whether her body could manage to keep her heart beating at such a rate, and whether she could remain conscious in the time it took for him to draw level with her on the deck. The pilot walked directly towards her, removing his helmet. Murrue did not think she could take anymore.<p>

Stony faced, the pilot looked her directly in the eyes. "Captain Murrue Ramius, I apologize for leaving this ship and its captain in need. I beg your forgiveness; I did not know myself but I believe I do now."

Murrue's knees gave way and she sank to the ground, the joy swelling her heart more than she thought she could bear. Sobbing like she never had before, Murrue cried the most joyous tears that she had ever known. Sinking down to his knees with her, Commander Mu La Flaga gathered his captain in his arms and held her tightly against him.

"Is it really you? Mu, is it really you?" she choked out, between sobs.

"It's me, I promise this time, it's me and I'm here now." He whispered through his own tears, slightly crushing her body against his.

Every person, every petty officer and mechanic stopped what they were doing and soberly watched as their Captain found her missing piece once again, her world united for once and for all.

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><p>Lacus could tell that Kira was exhausted though he showed no sign of it. They had had a lengthy discussion, all of them, where the finer details of Gilbert Dullindal's Destiny plan and betrayal were revealed to everyone. Kira had regretfully informed the rest of the manner of Captain Gladys's death. Later, he had pulled aside Murrue-san and discretely delivered Talia's message, watching the Captain's eyes widen. She had nodded and thanked him, and then most surprisingly pulling him into an affectionate embrace.<p>

"Thank you Kira-kun, for everything." Was all she said before returning to Mu, who slid his arm around her shoulders.

Lacus had led Kira quietly to her quarters in the Eternal, closing the door behind them. Tori took off from Kira's shoulders upon entering the room, perching himself comfortably on Lacus's bookshelf. Lacus had parked Kira on her bed before excusing herself to the bathroom to prepare for bed.

She emerged a few moments later, clad in a short pink nightdress to find Kira still in his flight suit, laying back on her bed, his feet still dangling over the edge.

"Kira?" she asked, quietly, appearing in his field of view from above.

"I'm sorry," he answered, smiling up at her. "I guess I'm more tired than I thought."

Lacus ran her hand through his hair before gently rising. She busied herself at the foot of the bed, beginning to loosen his boots. Kira cooperated despite being only half awake. She helped him out of his flight suit until he was in only shorts and a t-shirt. Lacus handed him a fluffy towel and steered him towards the shower.

"Can you manage?"

"Yes, thank you." Replied Kira, sleepily.

The warm water from Lacus's shower revived him somewhat. He braced his arms against the tile, allowing the water to beat down upon his bowed neck, loosening the knotted tension. He scrubbed his aching body, hardly noticing where he was bruised from impact. The aftermath of piloting was almost as intense as battle itself. The release of so much energy and tension and adrenalin, painfully heightened senses slipping back into normalcy.

Kira collapsed into Lacus' bed once again a few minutes later. She turned off the light and deftly climbed under the covers with him, automatically entangling legs as he drew her close to him.

"Sleep, peacefully Lacus." Kira smiled, his eyes already closing.

"Thank you, Kira." Was all she could reply before sleep took her too.

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><p>Lunamaria stroked her little sister's hair between her fingers, careful not to wake her though her own eyes were heavy with fatigue. The two sisters had remained in the observation platform after everyone else had retired. Pieces of the story were told in turns – tears of sorrow and of joy were shared until Meyrin had fallen asleep, her head resting against her sister's lap. Luna gazed out the windowed wall of the ship, half formed thoughts chasing each other around in her sleep deprived brain. She hardly noticed anyone approaching until Shin had laid a hand on her shoulder.<p>

"Shin." She had jumped slightly, breaking out of her reverie.

"Shh…" he replied, crouching down to her level. "Athrun said she hasn't been able to sleep for days." He said gesturing towards Meyrin's sleeping form.

"Let me take her to bed?" he asked her.

Luna nodded, gently releasing Meyrin's hand that clutched at the hem of her skirt. Shin, with a tenderness that he revealed so rarely, gathered Meyrin in his arms, shifting her slightly to rest against his chest. Meyrin only murmured in her sleep, settling herself against him. Luna led the two of them to Meyrin's quarters where she opened the door and gestured him in.

Luna pulled the covers back from Meyrin's bed, allowing Shin to lay her down. Shin turned and faced away in the semi darkness as Luna loosened her sister's boots and as gently as she could, removed her ZAFT uniform.

"Okay," she said, she pulled the covers back up to Meyrin's chin, smoothing them down. "She's okay now… boy this girl can sleep."

"Yeah… well. It must've been so difficult for her." murmured Shin.

Luna could see even in the dim light, the guilt in Shin's eyes. She took his hand in hers, but he pulled away.

"Athrun protected her when I shot them down. He took impact for her, or else she would be dead." Shin murmured, unable to meet Luna's eyes. She could hear the self hatred in his voice… she had learned to read these things from him in a way that no one else perhaps had.

"You should stay with her." He said, turning away. "Goodnight, Luna."

"Shin!" she had grasped his hand, before he could leave. This time she held fast. "I'll come with you, she is fine for now. Please."

Shin returned the pressure and allowed Luna to steer him out of the room. She pulled his arm around her waist and leaned into him.

"It's okay, no one is hurt. We will all be fine."

Shin allowed himself to believe this. It wasn't so just because she had said it. He had watched it happen; he had helped to make it happen.

"Will you be okay? This ship is headed to Orb." Luna trailed off uncertainly.

"No, it's okay. I want to go back, at least this time." Shin answered firmly.

"Okay… then let's go to bed?" Luna asked, stifling a yawn.

She looked so innocent when she was tired, Shin thought to himself.

"Yeah, let's go." He replied, smiling and taking her hand.

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><p>God she was beautiful. Mu sat up in bed watching her move around the room, getting ready for sleep. He had been scared of overstepping his boundaries, of pushing her too far before she was ready. With his memories returned to him, he could recall how painfully slowly he had courted her before Jachin. She was a woman capable of tremendous love and when her first pilot had been taken from her, he knew she vowed to never go love so deeply again. But what could he do? Mu had thought that he had loved women before Murrue, but it was untrue. He didn't know what love was till she walked into his life wearing those orange coveralls one fated day. Love is when you can forsake your own heart to keep someone else safe. So he had been slow, as careful as an incautious man could be. And just when he had won her safely, he had to go and prove her worst fears right in every way. Then she was alone. He hated every fibre of his being for having left her alone, even if there was no other choice.<p>

Mu had always walked on the edge. An uncertain and cold childhood taught him not to value himself too much, not to take himself too seriously. He became a pilot for the freedom of launching himself into the unknown, to become bigger than he was in reality. He had always considered himself lucky, though perhaps it was just that he was one of the few to risk it all. Hawk of Endymion – he had been lucky. Never in his life though, could he have fathomed that he would be this lucky.

So he mused, stealing glances at the captain as she busied herself with her nighttime routine. They were together, without an expiration date – after all they had been through, what could be more lucky and impossible than that?

She smiled tentatively at him and Mu smiled back, taking in every beautiful feature of her face and reaching for her small white hand.

"Just two minutes more, I promise." she whispered softly, before gently reclaiming her hand and exiting into her bathroom.

Murrue closed the door firmly behind her. She confronted her reflection in the mirror. It was the same old face but she could see it in her eyes now. The fire he had lit in her heart, the hope it had ignited – she saw there, a reflection amongst the amber. She unbuttoned the blouse and skirt of her uniform, deftly stepping out of them. She splashed water on her face and ran the tap to brush her teeth. She unhooked the clasp of her bra and threw on a t-shirt over just her panties. She felt just like a school girl with a crush on the captain of the football team. Actually, she thought to herself, to be fair, as a school girl, she remembered having much more sense than this. But never mind. She surveyed herself again, more critically this time, trying to scrutinize her figure and her face from his perspective. Bending over, she shook out her hair and righted herself. This was ridiculous; she was stalling and she knew it. She pressed the button and the door slid open before her. She crossed her bedroom moving towards the light switch. She glanced a look at Mu, registering the emotion on his face.

"Wait!" he exclaimed, just as she made to turn off the light.

He crossed the room to stand directly in front of her. Tall for a woman, and slim with her chocolate brown locks cascading down creamy white shoulders. Her long slender legs were enough to make him want to pray for patience. But they had all the time in the world now…

"Please." He said, winding a lock of her hair through his fingers. "Could I just look at you for a moment."

A blush spread across Murrue's cheekbones and she immediately regretted choosing something so revealing.

"You're blushing." He stated, gently cupping her face with one hand.

"So are you." She lied, quickly. Mu smirked momentarily, but his expression sobered as he almost hungrily searched her face again.

"I've missed you." He whispered, closing the space between them. Murrue closed her eyes for the kiss, powerless and unwilling to dig her heels in anymore.

Their lips met and she felt whole again. He was so gentle, the kiss so impossibly sweet and sincere. For second she felt her legs give way again but he had her hand. Pulling apart for the briefest second, she felt Mu brush his lips against hers once again, her eyes still closed.

"Mu!" she exclaimed in surprise as he picked her up in his arms like a baby. He was warm and solid, and she could feel his heart beating against his bare chest. Before she could protest further, his lips were on hers again and that pleasant feeling of hopelessness washed through her once again.

"On earth, the Plants and all the space between – you have got to be the most beautiful creature, Murrue Ramius.

"You're ridiculous." she answered faintly.

"I love you." He countered, reaching for the light controls

"I love you too." She murmured as he walked with her to her bed. He laid her down gently and came to rest beside her.

They laid in bed, facing each other with their hands clasped between them. In the darkness, Murrue was less shy. She studied every line and angle of his so familiar face.

"Are you tired?" he asked her.

"No" she replied, smiling. "No I'm not, actually… are you?"

"Nope." He heaved a sigh. "I don't want to sleep; I'm afraid that perhaps this is just a sweet sweet dream and if I sleep, I'll wake up."

"Me too."

Her eyes were better adjusted to the dim light and she could now make out the scars that crossed his body. She absentmindedly ran her finger across a line of freshly healed flesh that spanned from his shoulder to the ribs of his other side.

"Do they hurt?" she whispered.

His face turned stony once again. "No." he replied, though she heard the lie in his voice.

"Nothing hurts when you are here." He added after a pregnant pause.

"Then I'll stay… forever." She replied sleepily.

Slightly crushed by the strength of his embrace, Murrue slept better that night then she could ever recall.

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><p><strong>A.N.<strong> There you have it :) hope my ramblings were pleasant to read! I thought it would be interesting to look at the aftermath of the battle. How everyone gets from their posts to their beds and what happens in between. Don't worry, I haven't forgotten about Athrun, his turn is coming ! Review if you enjoyed!


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